“Breakfast” for sleepy mommy


I was playing with my one year and 11 month old daughter Pao last Saturday morning when I slumped in a chair and fell asleep.

I don’t know how long I fell asleep. I was woken up by that tiny hand touching my face and softly calling “mommy.”

I opened my eyes and found that she made me “breakfast.”

I cannot describe that feeling of elation for what my daughter did. I took it and pretended to drink the “coffee.”

That sleepy feeling went away. It was replaced by an energy so strong I can play for a whole day with my daughter.

It may just be a plastic mug and a plastic bread to some but to a mother, it is the most wonderful, heavenly breakfast ever. I couldn’t have been so proud.

I love her so much.


Never mind the foot


With my left foot still partly swollen from a minor fall three weeks ago, carrying a 24 lbs . toddler is no easy feat.

I can call today’s experience my little adventure with my little madam. We (mother and daughter) went to her pediatrician for her scheduled vaccine.

I opted not to take a stroller  since my daughter can walk anyway
Being always away at work, my time with my munchkin is morning nappy change, breakfast and morning bathland of course tucking her in at night.

Taking time off work for two days I realized how big she has grown up. Part of me thought that deciding not to bring a stroller was a mistake. She doesn’t want to sit, she walks and run. Oh the energy!

For someone with an injured foot, keeping up is a struggle especially everytime there is that feeling of knotting veins.

However, knowing that she would always hold your hand if she feels unsure or scared, giving your her prettiest smile showing those laugh lines in all its grandeur and seeing other people smile at her antics too eases the pain away.

A mother cannot be weak. A mother can endure anything for her child. My mother does so am going to be like her for my child.

Of course i will have my doctor checked up my left foot just so i could go back to running.

But for now, I wont mind carrying a 24 pound little madam. In fact, holding her in my arms gives me the best feeling in the world.

Never mind the foot.

Labors of Love


Abandoned child at the mall

Last week, I stumbled upon a facebook post about a toddler probably no older than two years old abandoned by her mother inside a mall.2014-12-18-18-32-52-1

I was, or should I say, I still am affected by the story, being a mother of a daughter a bit younger than Alexa Brielle (that is the name of the abandoned girl). My heart broke for that girl after I saw the photos especially the one where she was hugging the security guard as if he was her only hope. I am also angry at the mother for doing that to her child.

As it turns out, the mother is a 17-year old college student. She has a first child that her relatives do not know where she took and she is pregnant again. I can’t describe how I hated the girl so much especially after seeing her facebook page where on December 15, a day after the child went missing, she managed to change her profile photo with her selfie wearing red sleeveless shirt, shades, red lipstick with duck face smile.

No reason could ever justify abandoning a child. I cannot call the mother selfish because I think she is more than that. She is absolutely evil for doing that to such an angel.

The last I heard from the child’s relative, the grandmother and the mother’s sister are talking to the Department of Social Welfare and Development about getting back little Alexa. However, the same relative told me that there are already people wanting to adopt their niece. Whoever gets custody of the child, I hope they will give her all the love that her mother could not give.

We, the children, expect our parents to love us, to raise us, to be there for us when the chips are down. But when the parents, especially the mother broke a child’s heart, I cannot even describe how that would feel. But I agree with Mario Balotelli that “abandonment is a wound that never heals…and an abandoned child never forgets.”

I am certain that little Alexa, when she grows up would learn what her mother did to her. I just hope that when she does, she will understand that there are some people who just can help but put their need first before their child.

I found a poem entitled “My Feelings For You,” written by a girl abandoned by her mother. Coincidentally, the writer’s name is also Alexa.

Here is a portion of that poem:

Every night I think
of how my life could’ve been,
tears run down my face,
and my world starts to spin.
These past few years
have been really hard.
For the rest of my life
I’ll be severely scarred.
It took me time to realize
what you did to me.
Tears in my eyes,
and you’re clueless it seems.
I try to be brave,
it really hurts.
You could’ve stayed,
instead of making it worse.
I want you to know this,
it’s sad but it’s true,
you hurt your little girl,
and your little boy too!
You ruined me,
you made me cry,
you really hurt me,
and to laugh I try.
There is a hole in my heart
the doctors don’t see.
I guess they don’t know
what my mommy did to me.
If you want me back,
you have to prove
you can be a mom
When I screamed for you,
did you hear a sound?
I guess you didn’t,
because you were never around.
I will tell you something
you cannot forget,
once you hurt your kids,
it will soon come to regret.


Love is about waking up in the middle the night to check if the other person is cold and then putting blanket on her even of she said she doesn’t want to.

It is giving her that bigger piece of meat simply because you wanted her to have it.

Its about putting her needs first and yours, second.

It is about always including her in your every plan no matter how simple it may be like taking time off to watch a movie.

Love is also about sharing.

It is those simple gestures of care, concern, not hugs and kisses that shows how strong the love that you feel for that other person.

It whittles away if not nurtured until what is left are just memories.

“Love never dies a natural death.
It dies from neglect and abandonment.

It dies of blindness and indifference and of being taken for granted.

Things omitted are often more deadly
than errors recommitted.

In the end, love dies of weariness,
from not being nurtured.

We don’t really fall out of love any more than we fall into it.

When love dies, one or both partners
have neglected it, have failed to replenish and renew it.

Like any other living, growing thing, love requires effort to keep it healthy.” Leo Buscaglia (Born For Love)

Bundle of love


The best part of the evening is holding you in my arms and watching you sleep.

I know  how much you enjoy me kissing your forehead after every line of my songs. But you have no idea how much more i love doing it.

You are a bundle of love that i always love to hold, to hug and to kiss. 💓💓💓💓💓

Throwing PJs


This morning, I woke up with my one year old daughter throwing stuff at me. It is actually an indication that she wants us to wake up and take her to her regular morning stroll.

Sorting at all the stuff she threw at me, I found this pj as the first item.

Good thing its not her nappy. =)