On July 26, 12am I came home from get together with friends. While getting ready to sleep my water broke and that’s the start of the process which I have read and prepared for a long time but never actually grasped how hard it would be until that day.
They said I am already in labor but I had a great sleep. I started feeling the labor pains around 2pm of July 27, although still tolerable. At around 4pm came the scary part, I can no longer describe the pain. All i can remember was asking or actually begging for a pain reliever or something or probably put me under the knife coz i am sure i cannot do a normal delivery…or so I thought.
I had a normal spontaneous delivery. I woke up at the recovery room and my baby was beside me. My body was still numb, I wanted to look at my little girl but cant seem to lift my head. When they took me, finally to my room, the doctors and nurses encouraged me to start trying to sit. But my butt aches like crazy and I am feeling something from my insides. Must be the stitches.
The next day, my birthday, I managed to sit up and eventually stand up, go to the bathroom and tried to pee. I still feel my insides contracting as if I am still in labor. Whadda…And then the horrible I.E. that my OB performed.
Good thing they finally gave me some pain reliever. It helped A LOT although I still feel weak as if my body suffered from heavy beating. There were also instances where I felt embarrassed with people looking at your insides, checking. People asking if you have already peed or pooped or will ask you to remove your undies because they will have to use a perilight on your “suffering vagina.”
I thought why did some people say pregnancy is beautiful? Aside from the pains and embarrassments, there is the “mommy tummy” that I have to deal with, I cant even put on decent clothes when accepting by lovely visitors or at least comb my hair.
When I was still pregnant, I swore, I will be like the “pregnacy unicorn”–beautiful and glowing. But that didn’t happen. I was pale and tired.
Wendy from the movie “What to expect when you’re expecting” said that “I just… I didn’t think about any of this stuff before I got pregnant. You know. I er… I just wanted the glow. The one that they promise you on the cover of those magazines with the pretty lady, looking down at her perfectly round belly with that sweet smile. Well… I’m calling it. I’m calling bullshit. I’m calling bullshit on the whole thing. Pregnancy sucks. Making a human being is really hard…” I totally agree…
But then, I looked at my daughter, sleeping peacefully in her pink crib, wearing those clothes I excitedly bought months ago, there was the sudden feeling of elation. So this is what motherhood is all about.
I carried her in my arms. I was so happy. I am probably swollen, in pain and haggard but I am glowing. My Pao-pao IS MY GLOW, my super perfect glow.