My Pao, My Glow

ImageOn July 27 at around 5pm, I gave birth to my daughter Maria Paola. It was unexpected because we thought I am still due August. 

On July 26, 12am I came home from get together with friends. While getting ready to sleep my water broke and that’s the start of the process which I have read and prepared for a long time but never actually grasped how hard it would be until that day.

They said I am already in labor but I had a great sleep. I started feeling the labor pains around 2pm of July 27, although still tolerable. At around 4pm came the scary part, I can no longer describe the pain. All i can remember was asking or actually begging for a pain reliever or something or probably put me under the knife coz i am sure i cannot do a normal delivery…or so I thought.

I had a normal spontaneous delivery. I woke up at the recovery room and my baby was beside me. My body was still numb, I wanted to look at my little girl but cant seem to lift my head. When they took me, finally to my room, the doctors and nurses encouraged me to start trying to sit. But my butt aches like crazy and I am feeling something from my insides. Must be the stitches.

The next day, my birthday, I managed to sit up and eventually stand up, go to the bathroom and tried to pee. I still feel my insides contracting as if I am still in labor. Whadda…And then the horrible I.E. that my OB performed.

Good thing they finally gave me some pain reliever. It helped A LOT although I still feel weak as if my body suffered from heavy beating. There were also instances where I felt embarrassed with people looking at your insides, checking. People asking if you have already peed or pooped or will ask you to remove your undies because they will have to use a perilight on your “suffering vagina.”

I thought why did some people say pregnancy is beautiful? Aside from the pains and embarrassments, there is the “mommy tummy” that I have to deal with, I cant even put on decent clothes when accepting by lovely visitors or at least comb my hair.

When I was still pregnant, I swore, I will be like the “pregnacy unicorn”–beautiful and glowing. But that didn’t happen. I was pale and tired. 

Wendy from the movie “What to expect when you’re expecting” said that “I just… I didn’t think about any of this stuff before I got pregnant. You know. I er… I just wanted the glow. The one that they promise you on the cover of those magazines with the pretty lady, looking down at her perfectly round belly with that sweet smile. Well… I’m calling it. I’m calling bullshit. I’m calling bullshit on the whole thing. Pregnancy sucks. Making a human being is really hard…” I totally agree…

But then, I looked at my daughter, sleeping peacefully in her pink crib, wearing those clothes I excitedly bought months ago, there was the sudden feeling of elation. So this is what motherhood is all about.

I carried her in my arms. I was so happy. I am probably swollen, in pain and haggard but I am glowing. My Pao-pao IS MY GLOW, my super perfect glow.

 

Its a girl!

baby_girl_cartoon[1]

Yesterday, I had my 2D and 3D ultrasound for the baby’s gender and the face.

As everyone’s guess, well its a girl! :-) But we were not able to take a photo of her face because she was in deep slumber. No matter how much the doctor shook my tummy, she won’t budge. She was turned towards my back thus we can only see her nape.

The nurse tried to play this Elmo song. They said it always works well with sleeping babies. But of course, there is always an exception. Mine made a slight movement as if covering her ears and made a “talk to the hand” gesture. Haha! Husband said she”s already showing signs that she’s a lot like me.

A mother’s joy begins when new life is stirring inside… when a tiny heartbeat is heard for the very first time, and a playful kick reminds her that she is never alone. 
– Author Unknown

Lower than pond scum

Is consistency and asking for courtesy a bad thing? To some, it’s yes.

It all started when they all went down to the new press office and I opted to stay at the old one even if the aircon has been removed. Why did I do that? Because I am being consistent with the group’s original position which was to fight for our old press office for its proximity to the Office of the Secretary and a good view of the Supreme Court.

The Department of Justice (DoJ) wants us away from the executive offices for several reasons:

1. The media is a security threat as reported by the National Intelligence Coordinating Agency (NICA).

2. The executive officers cannot work well. Communication is hard with media entities occupying two rooms where only executive officials are supposed to stay.

3. One official needs a bigger office while the other wants an extra storage room.

The media occupied those spaces for decades. Justice secretary after justice secretary welcomes working closely with the media.

After the dialogue with the media, articles were written, published and reported over the media about us, being branded as security threat. My colleagues (who now are ignoring me) even had luncheon meeting with a former mediaman, now a lawmaker asking for help. I was designated to write statements, letter of appeal and more.

But things changed, when the shiny press office was almost ready, position has shifted. From demanding that a copy of the NICA report be given to us to simply just going down and be happy. Now, we will never know why we are a security threat.

The manner of evicting us was also foul. Airconditioning was removed without our knowledge. Lockers were transferred without informing the members about it. The Information Office said they informed our President. But the information never went down to the lowly members of the organization (or was it just me because I am part of the minority). The locker was removed from our old press office with my laptop still inside.

I told our President that I am part of the minority. BUT if majority wants to go down, I will too, as a respect to the majority.

Not informing me when the transfer would be, especially the transfer of our things from the old press office at the second floor to the other building is, well, I cannot classify as courtesy at all. Not one even asked if i had valuables inside the locker before it was removed. Even if i belong to the minority, i have the right to be informed of the goings on at the organization since I am still a part of it. I still deserve to be respected and still damn deserve courtesy.

The other organization, they asked the utility people not to immediately transfer their locker to the other building. Why? Because they believed that one of their member who was out of town that time left his laptop inside the locker. It might get lost or might get damaged in the process. When their member returned, only then that they allowed the transfer of the locker. Now, that’s courtesy and respect to a colleague. Don’t i deserve that? Instead of apologizing, they all hate me for being consistent and for getting angry at the uninformed transfer of the locker. Even the “not so gadget loving people” would understand me.

Good thing my laptop was not damaged. They can hate me all they want, one of them (or is that the stand of their group) even wished me dead after physically insulting me online.

Anyway, I know me. I am consistent, I know what respect is, I may not be as HOT as you but am not the type who would resort to name calling or insults or wish ill will of others.

Still, I wish them well in all their endeavors and good health. Sana lang, if your wish came true, don’t forget magpakain ka sa juror :)

Who’s the boss?

I will never forget this month, in my years of being a reporter, this was the first time I was bullied by a government official over a story that I did not even write.

I was only asked to get this official’s side (again) because in the story that this person was protesting, he was already interviewed.

Apparently, he was not satisfied with what was written. When I called him, he had an outburst and i become a shock absorber. But he apologized later. I told him I understand why he’s angry. He asked me to write his side which I did, more extensively.

He called me after seeing over the internet what I have written and said he was not satisfied. He even asked me if I belong to a particular religion, whom he said was conspiring against him. I said no.

“You should have written that you made a mistake! You should have said that your writer made the mistake! You should admonish your writer! That is what you should have written. You should change it [what I have written]. I want you to change it now! NOW! ” he bellowed.

I kept telling him that I am merely a reporter and has no say on what he wanted me to do. I also told him that not even my editors can tell me what to and what not to write. I told him to better put his complaints in writing and send letters to my bosses.

Indeed, its hard to talk reason to a close minded person.

I even heard him say “tangina” but as the Supreme Court has said, it is really not meant to slander but merely an expression of anger although I heard him utter it again when his aide gave him the wrong mobile phone charger.

Government officials are expected to exhibit a degree of professionalism, learn to respect the rights of others and refrain from acts contrary to good morals and good customs as demanded by Republic Act No. 6713 which, inter alia, enunciates the State policy of promoting a high standard of ethics.

Unfortunately, not all knew that this should be practiced even behind closed doors.

Truly, when the mind is closed, the mouth is always open. I had to endure almost two hours of him calling me. Mind you, that was the only time I was very thankful for a weak Globe signal.

Write’s block

Wow, I haven’t updated this since I don’t know when. Anyway, here i am now and a lot of things happened to me (which is why I cannot find time to write it here).

I want to write a lot of things but I can’t. I just do not know where to begin…Let’s see…

Dolphy ‘a quiet, thoughtful man who loved steak, chocolate cake’

Dolphy ‘a quiet, thoughtful man who loved steak, chocolate cake’.

DoJ in hot pursuit of, well, cats

DoJ in hot pursuit of, well, cats.

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