Abandoned child at the mall

Last week, I stumbled upon a facebook post about a toddler probably no older than two years old abandoned by her mother inside a mall.

I was, or should I say, I still am
affected by the story, being a mother of a daughter a bit younger than Alexa Brielle (that is the name of the abandoned girl). My heart broke for that girl after I saw the photos especially the one where she was hugging the security guard as if he was her only hope. I am also angry at the mother for doing that to her child.

As it turns out, the mother is a 17-year old college student. She has a first child that her relatives do not know where she took and she is pregnant again. I can’t describe how I hated the girl so much especially after seeing her facebook page where on December 15, she changed her profile photo with her selfie wearing red sleeveless, shades, red lipstick with duck face smile, that was a day after her child was found crying alone at the mall tightly holding her feeding bottle.

No reason could ever justify abandoning a child. I cannot call the mother selfish because I think she is more than that. She is absolutely evil for doing that to such an angel.

The last I heard from the child’s relative, the grandmother and the mother’s sister are talking to the Department of Social Welfare and Development about getting back little Alexa. However, the same relative told me that there are already people wanting to adopt their niece. Whoever gets custody of the child, I hope they will give her all the love that her mother could not give.

We, the children, expect our parents to love us, to raise us, to be there for us when the chips are down. But when the parents, especially the mother broke a child’s heart, I cannot even describe how that would feel. But I agree with Mario Balotelli that “abandonment is a wound that never heals…and an abandoned child never forgets.”

I am certain that little Alexa, when she grows up would learn what her mother did to her. I just hope that when she does, she will understand that there are some people who just can help but put their need first before their child.

I found a poem entitled “My Feelings For You,” written by a girl abandoned by her mother. Coincidentally, the writer’s name is also Alexa.

Here is a portion of that poem:

Every night I think
of how my life could’ve been,
tears run down my face,
and my world starts to spin.
These past few years
have been really hard.
For the rest of my life
I’ll be severely scarred.
It took me time to realize
what you did to me.
Tears in my eyes,
and you’re clueless it seems.
I try to be brave,
it really hurts.
You could’ve stayed,
instead of making it worse.
I want you to know this,
it’s sad but it’s true,
you hurt your little girl,
and your little boy too!
You ruined me,
you made me cry,
you really hurt me,
and to laugh I try.
There is a hole in my heart
the doctors don’t see.
I guess they don’t know
what my mommy did to me.
If you want me back,
you have to prove
you can be a mom
When I screamed for you,
did you hear a sound?
I guess you didn’t,
because you were never around.
I will tell you something
you cannot forget,
once you hurt your kids,
it will soon come to regret.

Change

Love is about waking up in the middle the night to check if the other person is cold and then putting blanket on her even of she said she doesn’t want to.

It is giving her that bigger piece of meat simply because you wanted her to have it.

Its about putting her needs first and yours, second.

It is about always including her in your every plan no matter how simple it may be like taking time off to watch a movie.

Love is also about sharing.

It is those simple gestures of care, concern, not hugs and kisses that shows how strong the love that you feel for that other person.

It whittles away if not nurtured until what is left are just memories.

“Love never dies a natural death.
It dies from neglect and abandonment.

It dies of blindness and indifference and of being taken for granted.

Things omitted are often more deadly
than errors recommitted.

In the end, love dies of weariness,
from not being nurtured.

We don’t really fall out of love any more than we fall into it.

When love dies, one or both partners
have neglected it, have failed to replenish and renew it.

Like any other living, growing thing, love requires effort to keep it healthy.” Leo Buscaglia (Born For Love)

Bundle of love

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The best part of the evening is holding you in my arms and watching you sleep.

I know  how much you enjoy me kissing your forehead after every line of my songs. But you have no idea how much more i love doing it.

You are a bundle of love that i always love to hold, to hug and to kiss. 💓💓💓💓💓

Throwing PJs

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This morning, I woke up with my one year old daughter throwing stuff at me. It is actually an indication that she wants us to wake up and take her to her regular morning stroll.

Sorting at all the stuff she threw at me, I found this pj as the first item.

Good thing its not her nappy. =)

Back to blogging. Mommy diary begins

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It has been more than a year since I made my last entry.

Life is busy in a good way. My daughter, who I fondly call my little madam is already 1 year 1 month and 16 days today and she makes me crazy with all her antics, the way she giggles, pouts and a lot more.

She can also already walk, with a bit of supervision of course. She can even dance to her favorite tune “Dancing the Hokey Pokey” and the “Numbers Party.”

Now, she’s fast asleep in her crib beside me. Watching her gives me that peaceful feeling i cannot explain. So, this is but one of themany wonders of motherhood. ^_^

My Pao, My Glow

ImageOn July 27 at around 5pm, I gave birth to my daughter Maria Paola. It was unexpected because we thought I am still due August. 

On July 26, 12am I came home from get together with friends. While getting ready to sleep my water broke and that’s the start of the process which I have read and prepared for a long time but never actually grasped how hard it would be until that day.

They said I am already in labor but I had a great sleep. I started feeling the labor pains around 2pm of July 27, although still tolerable. At around 4pm came the scary part, I can no longer describe the pain. All i can remember was asking or actually begging for a pain reliever or something or probably put me under the knife coz i am sure i cannot do a normal delivery…or so I thought.

I had a normal spontaneous delivery. I woke up at the recovery room and my baby was beside me. My body was still numb, I wanted to look at my little girl but cant seem to lift my head. When they took me, finally to my room, the doctors and nurses encouraged me to start trying to sit. But my butt aches like crazy and I am feeling something from my insides. Must be the stitches.

The next day, my birthday, I managed to sit up and eventually stand up, go to the bathroom and tried to pee. I still feel my insides contracting as if I am still in labor. Whadda…And then the horrible I.E. that my OB performed.

Good thing they finally gave me some pain reliever. It helped A LOT although I still feel weak as if my body suffered from heavy beating. There were also instances where I felt embarrassed with people looking at your insides, checking. People asking if you have already peed or pooped or will ask you to remove your undies because they will have to use a perilight on your “suffering vagina.”

I thought why did some people say pregnancy is beautiful? Aside from the pains and embarrassments, there is the “mommy tummy” that I have to deal with, I cant even put on decent clothes when accepting by lovely visitors or at least comb my hair.

When I was still pregnant, I swore, I will be like the “pregnacy unicorn”–beautiful and glowing. But that didn’t happen. I was pale and tired. 

Wendy from the movie “What to expect when you’re expecting” said that “I just… I didn’t think about any of this stuff before I got pregnant. You know. I er… I just wanted the glow. The one that they promise you on the cover of those magazines with the pretty lady, looking down at her perfectly round belly with that sweet smile. Well… I’m calling it. I’m calling bullshit. I’m calling bullshit on the whole thing. Pregnancy sucks. Making a human being is really hard…” I totally agree…

But then, I looked at my daughter, sleeping peacefully in her pink crib, wearing those clothes I excitedly bought months ago, there was the sudden feeling of elation. So this is what motherhood is all about.

I carried her in my arms. I was so happy. I am probably swollen, in pain and haggard but I am glowing. My Pao-pao IS MY GLOW, my super perfect glow.

 

Its a girl!

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Yesterday, I had my 2D and 3D ultrasound for the baby’s gender and the face.

As everyone’s guess, well its a girl! :-) But we were not able to take a photo of her face because she was in deep slumber. No matter how much the doctor shook my tummy, she won’t budge. She was turned towards my back thus we can only see her nape.

The nurse tried to play this Elmo song. They said it always works well with sleeping babies. But of course, there is always an exception. Mine made a slight movement as if covering her ears and made a “talk to the hand” gesture. Haha! Husband said she”s already showing signs that she’s a lot like me.

A mother’s joy begins when new life is stirring inside… when a tiny heartbeat is heard for the very first time, and a playful kick reminds her that she is never alone. 
— Author Unknown

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